Keep Showing Up...For Yourself
I had a job interview last week. Actually it was the 2nd interview for a job I really wanted. It was with an organization that seemed like a great fit for me. It aligned with my values and they were doing work that was transformational, enriching, and people-focused.
And I didn’t get it.
I waited for their reply…Monday, Tuesday, by Wednesday afternoon I received the damn email.
So I was sad for about a day. And I might be sad again on Saturday or next Tuesday.
But I wasn’t sad about how I showed up. I showed up with all my authentic energy. I showed up with my research and notes. I showed up with a sense that no matter what the outcome was, I was going to be fully present and confident that I am undoubtedly, enough.
And I showed up for myself.
I didn’t at first. I was so over-thinking how I imagined I should be when I occupied that Zoom screen, that it took some serious midnight journaling and calm app meditations, an hour-long coaching session with my coach to settle myself and realign my heart and soul once again.
Showing up is my tag-line, it is my mantra, it is the true north of how I approach my day, how I make decisions or get into the ring with those who have differing views than I. It is the essence I try to embody in very real and tangible ways.
What I have been learning lately is that too often I show up for others because of duty or responsibility and while that isn’t all bad. It is responsible and genuine.
But showing up for myself is an idea I am working through. What does this actually mean? How does it connect to confidence, identity and holding space without controlling the space?
It has to mean more than “self-care” and “working on myself”. It is more than a selfie, a #regram, #repost, “Like”, “Share” (I think I need a break from social media as I am super judgey lately about EVERYTHING I am seeing on the interwebs these days. I just want to say to people, “stop trying so hard to be woke” I digress…).
Last week I showed for myself when I separated the outcome from the process. When I controlled what I could control and I showed up fully present to who I am and how I wanted to be seen and heard in that 45-minute virtual space. And being completely satisfied with that experience. Well, at least 90% satisfied.
It sounds selfish, but is it? I do not have this all figured out.
Friends, how do you show up? Does this phrase connect with you? How do you practice presence and being fully yourself and doing it for you, and you alone?
